"A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain." Arabian Proverb
He says he will start doing better, that he will make more time, that he will be more present and yet, nothing ever seems to change. Sounds familiar doesn't it? So many people throw words and promises around so lightly, and we hang onto those words waiting for change and action and end up waiting a long time. And of course, when we bring those promises back up, we get the reassurance that they will follow through on them, and we wait again, and the cycle continues. It's easy to say we will do something, but harder to go ahead and do it. I strongly believe that you can tell a lot about someone simply based on their actions (or lack thereof).
You know when someone tells you how much their care about you, and yet seems to flake on plans all the time and always seem to find an excuse to change plans around or cut them short? You kind of get the feeling that maybe the person doesn't really care about you, but they insist that they do. When you confront them about it, they tell you that they've been distracted by other things. To me, this says "you're not high on my list of priorities". Someone who genuinely cares about you will follow through on the things they say they will do to show you that they care.
In the same train of thought as the previous point, someone who cares about you won't even have to fill the air with words and promises to show you how much they care about you. They will show you they care about you in the little things that they do for you. Someone can tell you that they love you every single day, but sometimes you still feel that something is missing. I personally can tell that someone cares about me simply by the way they show it on a daily basis. However, this is something that is so specific to each person. There is a book by Gary Chapman that I am wanting to read called "The Five Love Languages". In this book, the author outlines five ways that we show and experience love. Everyone has a love language that speaks to them: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Some people need to be told all the time that they are loved, others like when the other shows through actions, others want gifts, some want quality time and then there's those who need that physical affirmation. I'm sure you can tell that "acts of service" is one of my love languages just based on this article. I am just a firm believer that the way someone treats you and how they show their feelings says just as much as "I love you" or "I care about you". Of course, these things are nice to hear, but actions can say just as much.
I have a friend who was with this guy who always told her how much he loved her and how she changed his life. For a while, he acted on those words and was there. Eventually, he started making really lame excuses for cancelling on plans and things were always about him. I told this friend that she would know if he really truly cared and that his actions were saying enough without him having to say anything at all. Actions can say a lot of things, like "I love you" or "I don't want to be with you". Even if someone doesn't necessarily say anything, you should still be able to tell based on how they are behaving. We can tell a lot just by reading someone’s body language. Remember, words don't have to be spoken to know how someone feels about you. This goes as much for relationships as friendships. Someone who really cares will make it apparent by their actions.
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