When I was in middle school, I pictured myself going to university and living by myself. Back then, I didn't realize that I would definitely have to live with roommates during school and maybe even for a little bit after that. As a young teenager, you don't really look at the whole picture. And you certainly don't realize how much rent costs when you live alone, on top of every other cost. Living alone was something I had been excited for for a very long time. So, when the time finally came, boy was I ever ready. I didn't really know what to expect though. Hopefully, I can share some valuable tips with you to help you prepare for when that time comes for you.
1. Money and The Cost of Moving Out
I know that this is a no brainer. There are obviously many costs involved with moving out by yourself. Between the packing supplies, the moving van, getting new furniture and kitchen supplies, and everything else that you will need, the bill does add up pretty quickly. Trust me, the more you save up ahead of time, the easier it'll be on your bank account. There's nothing worse than doing the mental math to see if you'll be able to cover everything.
There are ways to cut down on the costs though. When it comes to buying furniture, don't hesitate to use Kijiji or Facebook Marketplace. However, I personally don't recommend purchasing your mattress second-hand from someone you don't know. In my case, I was lucky enough to have mine given it to me by my uncle, whom I know keeps the house clean and pest free. You just honestly never know what someone's house has, and you don't know if they will disclose of any previous pest issue. A living room couch can be very expensive. Buying this second hand might be a little less risky, but definitely make sure to take a good look in the cushions to make sure there isn't anything crawling in there. If you are picking it up from the seller's house, don't be shy to take a glimpse around the living to see if it is generally a clean space. As for other furniture, you can generally find some things in pretty great condition that you were probably already looking at anyways! Some people might just be switching things up or moving in with their partner and don't need that second dresser, even though it is in perfect condition. Well, lucky you, you can get a practically new one at a fraction of the price!
When it comes to decor, there is so much you can do to repurpose what you already have or make it by hand. Now, I know what you might be thinking... "I'm not an artsy person!" or "I'm not creative". There are so many things that you can do that don't require any artistic talent or that don't have to be over the top. The great thing about doing things yourself is that it'll be something unique that no one else has. Yes, maybe you stole the idea from Pinterest, but hey, you can still take credit for it. The below picture is of two frames that I had gotten a few years back. Initially, I had taken photos and magazine clippings and done two collages of memories and things that inspire me. When I moved into my own place, I wanted to repurpose those frames into something that would work better with the overall feel of my new place. I took a couple of sheets of Bristol board, some stick-on letters from the dollar store and voila! A custom-made art piece. The fun thing with this is that I could have written whatever I wanted. I can also reuse these frames and switch things out with the seasons or as my taste changes. These $20 frames were inexpensive and will get years of use.
Something else that is important to think about when moving out on your own is budgeting. I'm not going to lie, budgeting is not my strong suit. I really wish it was, and it's something I'm continuously working on. Because I'm no expert, I'll keep it short. Look at your income and keep all your bills in mind. You don't want to be caught at the end of the month unable to pay rent. My trick is to put half of the months' rent aside in one bank account each paycheque and not touch it, so that I don't have to take out as much of my pay at the end of the month. As much as this seems obvious, it helps to know that you'll be able to make the payment without being totally broke.
2. A Place of Your Own
When you move in with other people, whether that be a roommate or a partner, you won't necessarily have a say in everything that goes into the place. When you move into your own place, you get to choose everything and not have anyone tell you that they don't like the pattern or the colour of the decor. Well, I mean, someone can tell you that, but it doesn't matter because it's YOUR place. That was the best feeling to me. In my last year of school, I lived with my younger brother. I kid you not, he fought me on the colour of the soap dish I picked out at Ikea. It was white with a teal bottom. To him, it was too girly. So, you bet that when I moved into my own place, I chose a light pink and grey colour scheme. Finally, no one could tell me what soap dish I could have! I put a bit of myself into every detail in my apartment and I feel like the space truly represents me.
Having your own place means that you call the shots. Want to have a few friends over? You don't have a roommate telling you that they're studying so you can't. Want your boyfriend to stay the night? Good thing your roommate's mom isn't staying over for the weekend! Cause you don't have one! You can make your own plans and know that you won't be inconveniencing anyone. That kind of freedom is a great feeling.
Now, this freedom obviously does come with added responsibility. There are often chores we like doing more than others. When I lived with my brother, he would clean the bathroom and I would clean the floors, dust the apartment and clean the kitchen. It was a good trade-off. Now, I have to scrub the tub, because it's MY place. I now have the responsibility to maintain my space. Then again, you don't have the accountability of cleaning at a certain time because your roommate expects it. Just don't let that freedom go to your head.
3. Loneliness and How to Deal
When you've lived in a house full of people your entire life, the transition to being on your own can be a little difficult. Suddenly, you're in a new place, it's quiet and you don't have anyone to talk to whenever you want. It's definitely a different feeling. The trick is to find ways to enjoy your alone time and keeping yourself busy. Personally, I feel like I've hardly spent any time at home. Between my full-time job, going to the gym and seeing friends, having two full evenings at home per week can feel like a luxury. One thing is for sure, being so busy doesn't leave room for any loneliness.
Sometimes the apartment feels a little too quiet. And sometimes, it's so quiet that I feel like I can hear my neighbours like if they were in the room (she laughs hysterically all the time... I would love to know what's so funny!). During the day, having some music on or a tv show playing, it helps to fill the silence. At night time when I'm trying to fall asleep, I use a white noise app to drown out the sound of neighbours, people in the hallway, or even to just fill the silence. You get used to the quietness. Sometimes, you even find a way to enjoy it.
4. My Favourite Living Alone Perks
I can't say enough good things about living alone. Not everyone would agree. I'm just a homebody and I enjoy my alone time.
I think one of my favourite things about living on my own is that my space is exactly how I want it, and I know that I can change it when I want. I don't have to ask anyone if I can switch out a picture or change the colours of the throw pillows on the couch. It truly reflects my personality and makes me feel Zen. Seeing my vision infant of me never fails to make me smile. Especially when I've just finished doing a deep clean!
Those who know me know that I am very shy when it comes to dancing. Somehow, when I'm alone and have a killer playlist on, I suddenly turn into Beyoncé. I can play whatever music I want and not have anyone asking me to change the song. My personal go-to is anything from the early 2000's. That never fails to get me dancing. Now if only those dance moves came out when I'm out with friends...
As I mentioned, I live in a bachelor apartment. I used to be able to cook good meals for friends and have space to sit down and eat together. Now, I don't have a dining area and limited counter space. So, I try to avoid making supper for others, since it can get a little chaotic. Instead, I love having people over for a glass of wine. Or even coffee or tea. But mostly wine. I love getting cozy on the couch with a glass of wine in my hand and talk for hours with my girlfriends. Of course, I could do that before, but for some reason I'm enjoying it even more now that I can have people in a space that is all mine.
Moving out on your own is a huge and exciting step. It's something many of us look forward to for several years. Some days can be harder than others. But at the end of the day, the feeling of independence feels great. If you're moving into your own place soon, I wish you all the best. And if you're not quite there yet, enjoy the time you have left living with roommates, and remember that next thing you know, you'll be all on your own.
