Home is where the heart is. That's what I've always said. In my case, my heart sits in another province, 2359 kilometres away. This saying means that wherever our loves ones are, that's where is where our home is. Whenever I say I am going home for the holidays, people often asked me where home is and how long I've lived there for. In fact, I've actually never lived where my current "home" is. Being from a military family, the definition of home is a little unconventional for me. I always say that home is wherever my family is, because wherever they are, I feel right at home once I get there.
Living far from family isn't always a choice unfortunately. Some circumstances will uproot your family and move them far away. In the last few years, I have a friend whose family has moved from the city she grew up in, to the south of Ontario and then out of Canada to the US. Another friend of mine grew up on a small military base and then came to Ottawa for school, which wasn't too far away, and now her family is moving to the south of Ontario as well. Some situations are out of our control. We didn't choose to be far away, but life happens and moves have to happen.
In my case, a part of me chose to move away from home to go to school, but I didn't know at the time that the distance would increase before I even made the move. I had applied to a few universities, some closer than others, and ultimately chose a school that happened to be closer to home. It wasn't the main deciding factor, but it was in the list of pros. Not long after, my family got the notice that they would be moving to Manitoba. I was fortunate to be dating someone at the time that gave me the opportunity to go back to my home town often enough, which gave me that feeling that I still had a home for the first few months of school. Once I went home for the holiday’s half way through my first year, I realized that home really is where the heart is. Since the ending of that relationship, I don't go back to my home town very often, but I have gone on a couple occasions. The rate at which the town is changing makes me realize that Petawawa isn't really home anymore. My best friend is still there though, which will always give me a reason to go back.
As a sidebar, I often get asked where home is and where I'm from. I have to say, that's a really hard question. Where is my home town? If you mean where I was born, I would say Happy Valley Goosebay, Newfoundland and Labrador. If you mean where I lived the longest, I would say Kingston, Ontario. If you asked me where I came from before school, I would say Petawawa, Ontario. So, I usually ask in return "do you want the short of long answer? Because that's a loaded question". #militarybratproblems.
Making the decision to move away is difficult. Especially when you are young and have always been close by. Your home is your nest, where you would usually feel the most comfortable and safe. Maybe the school that offers the program you want is a few hundred kilometres away, maybe it's in another province, or maybe it's in an entirely different country. Maybe your dream job is in another completely different city. I think that my mindset about moving is a little different than many, because it was a way of life for me for such a long time. This being said, I also think that my mindset is an empowering one to have. Life is about the adventure and taking the opportunities that are presented to you. Life is about having the courage to forge your own path and chase after your dreams. A new city doesn't have to be scary, it's about the perception you have and making the very best of it.
Yes, being away from family can be very hard, especially when you are someone who's always been very close to them. I took being away from my family as an opportunity to be independent and live life at my own beat. I think I've been this way for a very long time, but I've been like this even more so since moving away for school. I love being independent and on my own, but the way that I make being away easier is by fully enjoying the time that I have with my family when I can have it. Make the most out of the limited time you have, and it gives you something to carry with you until you are together again.
Being far away used to be much, much harder I imagine. I am grateful to now live in a time where technology allows me to be closer with my family, by sending texts and video chatting. No more snail mail needed! I know that I can reach out to my parents at any time that I need, for anything. It helps to make me feel closer to them. Of course, it’s harder when going through something hard, like a breakup or being really sick for example. Sometimes you just really wish you could hug your momma. In the cases, I make sure to surround myself with good friends (not for the sickness because you know... germs and all) and it makes me feel a little less alone and far.
Any situation can be managed with a change of perception and what you make of it. I didn't choose to be this far away from my family, but we make it work. The key is keeping contact and making sure to video chat or talk on the phone at least once a week (sorry mom, I know this can be hard to do sometimes! We try, we try) and to plan your visits ahead of time. Knowing when I'll see mom next is the best way to keep my spirits up.
Do you live far away from home? How do you manage best? I hope you enjoyed this week’s post! Don't forget to subscribe for alerts every week when a new blog post goes live!
