I have this friend... Let's call her Valerie. Valerie's family treats her like absolute crap a lot of the time. I honestly can't wrap my head around how they treat her, because she is such a kind and giving person. They talk about her behind her back to everyone about how she is "useless, lazy and selfish", when Valerie does everything she can in her means to help and support her family. Somehow, this never seems to be enough for them. Valerie takes this to heart because, well, it hurts to hear about how your family says these things about you. It weighs on her a lot and she values what they think of her and what people think of her in general. I see how this affects Valerie day to day and it absolutely breaks my heart. She tells me about what someone told her that her mom said about her and how she wishes she was good enough for them. I know Valerie can't be the only one dealing with crappy family members, or just negative people in their lives who are trying to influence them and their self-worth. What I want to say to Valerie and anyone dealing with these kinds of negative people is "F#*k what any one thinks". What others think of you is something that I don't think should matter for the following reasons.
There are things we just can't control
Like many things in life, the opinion of others is something that is out of our control. Some people will be set in their ways and their opinions. No matter what you do, some people just aren't happy. You could be Mother Theresa, and there will be someone you there who doesn't like you. They may try to tear you down. But you have to ask yourself why, why do they feel the need to take these strikes at you? You have to wonder how these people look at themselves and how they feel about the life that they live. They might be living a crappy life and have a sense of hate for themselves if they feel the need to try to take down someone who's never done anything to them. Some people who feel the need to hurt others are jealous, selfish, and narcissistic. These people try to hold different people to the same standards, knowing that they can't expect the same from every single person from different ways of life. We need to accept that we cannot control others. We can't control what they do, say, or think. What matters is what we do ourselves.
There are things that we can control
The only thing we can really control in this life is what we do ourselves. We can control on our opinions of ourselves, Just because others think of us a certain way, it doesn't mean that we have to let that kind of negativity impact on our views on who we are. If we know deep down that we are good people and do our best to be good and do good, then I think that's all that matters. What we can do is continually work towards being better people, help others, and make others smile. If we are doing good in the world and people still talk badly about you, what does that say about them? I think that as long as we are trying to be better people, we can be at peace in knowing that what others think simply can't be true.
There's that cliché saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me". I'll admit, words can hurt. But like a physical hit, it's a temporary pain. Do we hold onto that bruise for days and days? No. So why do we let words have their toll? I think that we should kill our haters with kindness and just be the bigger person. We should do our best to push forward and make right. In the wise words of Taylor Swift, haters gonna hate. What can we do? We can F#*k what others think, and just continue to be the best people we can be.
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